there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
