I'm going to jail i love you
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
