I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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