im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
