he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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