I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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