DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize