his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
