Betty ford says i'm here all night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
