well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
