Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
