Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We are all done wearing pants today
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm always down for nudity.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
