I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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