So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
