She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
