WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
