Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize