Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My breasts were aching with rage.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
