There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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