my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize