Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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