Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
