So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
