so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
