I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
