i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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