Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Shame - the story of my life.
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