I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
