My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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