What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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