whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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