chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
