How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
