I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I can text with my tongue
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
