Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
