Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
