forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
