No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
