And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My pussy is not your playground.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
