I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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