my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
