Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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