Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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