'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
