Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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