listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
