Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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