Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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