im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
