you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Acid is not a monday night drug
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
