Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
