you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
