I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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