The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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