either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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