I must be too annoying 4 u.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
