I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
