got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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