life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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