ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
