if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
