i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were destined to go to rehab together
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
