also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
