he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
