Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
