it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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