You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
