def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
