My Higher Power is John Stamos
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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