Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
id be glad to
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was born a porn star she said
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
