I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
