I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
