i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
