508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
