If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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