these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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